In sickness and in health no more
by deanpala
Summary: Sam messes up and now hes lost Dean. A Dean leaves Sam fic, Stanford era
1. Amulet

_Thank you JoeFandom, guest, Seitanspawn, TweetyRulz, and bleh for voting this in! Ive been excited to start this story for quite a long time so I hope you enjoy as much as I do!_

The upcoming hunt was far from easy as Dean knew, so he decided he wanted to talk to Sam at least one more time in case he didn't make it.

"Heya Sammy. How's life going?"

"Dean."

"Yeah Sam it's me."

"I thought I told you not to call me."

"Well yeah but-"

"Dean I'm busy right now. "

"Ok but-"

"I don't want you to call me anymore. I'm moving on, I don't need you anymore."

"Sam-"

"Lose my number Dean."

Dean sat there shocked as he heard the beep signaling the end of the call. The phone felt heavy in his hand as he chucked it at the wall and screamed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*SPN~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sam felt bad about how he treated Dean almost immediately after the call last night, but in his defense, he was in the middle of trying to propose to Jess when he had called.

Sam was going to call him back and apologize, really he was, but he totally forgot in the excitement of Jess saying yes.

He supposed he could call know since he was up. He picked up the phone and dialed Deans number only to get a "I'm sorry; the number you have reached is not in service, or temporarily disconnected. The number you have reached is not in service at this time" message in his ear. Crap.

As he was putting the phone down he heard an annoying thumping on the window. He grabbed a gun he always had hidden under the bed (old habits die hard) and threw open the curtain to reveal a sight that would change his life forever.

It was Deans amulet, tied outside the window.

Sam stared at it in shock and let out a little chocked

"Dean?"


	2. radio silence and desperate searching

_Thank you beckini and Temperamental18 for reviewing!_

"Dean, its Sam. Please please _please_ call me back. Bye."

Sam flopped down on his bed with a sigh. He had called seven of Deans phones, none of them being picked up, and only two of them even letting him go to voice mail even.

"Gosh dang it, why did I have to be so stupid?" Sam asked himself. Well it was time to try dad. _Again_.

"Hey dad it's me, Sam. Listen I know we don't talk much but Deans missing and I _really_ need to talk to him. If you know anything please call me back. Bye."

Strike two.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*SPN~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The idea came to him a week later.

Of course, he could trace the call to see where Dean had been and try to find him himself!

Sam got in the car and immediately drove off towards Nevada.

When he got there he questioned everyone he could about where Dean could've gone. No one really even seemed to remember Dean.

Sam left with his heart heaveier than he could bear.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~SPN~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~

It seemed like everyone was out to get Sam today.

Even the stupid radio.

 _In the end, everyone ends up alone_

 _Losing her, the only one who's ever known_

 _Who I am who I was and who I wanna be_

 _No way to know how long she will be next to meeee_

 _Lost and insecure you found me you found me_

 _Lying on the floor, surrounded surrounded_

 _Why'd you have to wait, Where were you? Where were you ? –_

Sam practically punched the button to change the station

 _You could come and save me and try to chase the crazy right out of my head_

 _I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name_

 _Like a fool at the top of my lungs_

 _Sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I'm alright_

 _But it's never enough_

He changed the station again

 _No one ever lied straight to your face_

 _And no one ever stabbed you in the back_

 _You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay_

 _Everybody always gave you what you wanted_

 _You never had to work it was always there_

 _You don't know what it's like, what it's like_

Ok, so this channel wasn't the one for him either

 _And I find it kinda funny_

 _I find it kinda sad_

 _The dreams in which I'm dying_

 _Are the best I've ever had_

Sam punched the radio off so hard it broke and then smacked his head against the steering wheel crying.

 _*the songs mentioned in this chapter are as follows: You found me, echo, welcome to my life, and madworld_


	3. Lessons and Temptaions

_Thank you for reviewing Temperamental18 and beckini! Remember to vote!_

Sams wedding was tomorrow.

For the last month, Sam had been searching for Dean like crazy. It only made sense the guy who raised him would be there.

Besides, Dean was his best friend. He was supposed to be there.

He was supposed to be his best man.

Which is why Sam was on the swing of an abandoned park at midnight.

"Hey mister what are you doing here?"

Well that's not what he was expecting to find out here.

"The question is what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in bed?"

"Yeah but I like it here at night. There's less people."

The little girl sat on the swing next to Sam.

"So what's wrong? Most grownups don't sit on swings at night."

Sam sighed. He couldn't believe he was letting this all off on a kid.

"Well I said some really mean things to my brother and now I don't know where he is and I want him to be at my wedding tomorrow."

"Maybe he's trying to get better."

"What?"

"You don't heal if a wound keeps opening. My momma say that whenever she goes on a diet she has to get rid of all the bad food in the house to keep her from being tempted to indulge in what hurt her. Maybe your brother is doing the same thing. If he sticks around he's scared he'll get hurt again, and the best way to do that is by getting rid of what hurt him."

"Uh- I never really thought about it that way. Thanks."

"Glad I could help mister."

Sam went home thinking over this new idea.

 _And little girl to the rescue!_ _Thank you for reading the fic will end in a few more chapters so please vote! Also, I have some more story ideas but Im not sure if I should put them in the poll because they are not supernatural storys. SO, two polls then. 1) Include ideas 2)Don't include ideas._ _A) Ghost of futures past B) For what is withheld C) Still I dream of you D) My charge E)The good the bad and the ugly F) Smoke on the water_


	4. The song remains the same

_Thank you Daughter Of Hades 116, beckini, and Tempermental18 for reviewing!_

They had only been married a week, and she was already dead.

Sam watched as she died on the ceiling, with only Dean pulling him out of the room saving him.

"Dean?! Wha-"

"I was stopping by to check on you, and I saw the smoke and smelled the sulfur."

"I was looking for you for months! Never mind that, we need to get going now if we want to catch that thing!"

Sam started walking towards the Impala in the parking lot and stopped when he realized Dean wasn't following.

"Dude, come on! I know you wouldn't rather take my car so lets get going!"

Dean stood there looking at Sam. The look was far from affectionate, and Sam had to admit he was a little scared.

"Dean? This-this is our chance. T-to kill the thing that killed mom. That killed Jess."

"Why?"

Sam let out a chocked laugh.

"What do you mean 'why'? We've been chasing this thing our whole lives Dean!"

"Well you left didn't you? Why should I help?"

"Well, I didn't know mom-"

"And I didn't know Jess."

"Dean, this thing killed my _wife_! You can't be serious!"

" _I_ can't be serious? What about _you?_ _You_ left me and Dad, _you._ _You're_ the one who said the whole revenge gig was stupid, not me! I can't believe how hypocritical you are!"

"Dean-"

The look Dean gave Sam chilled him to the bone as he took a step closer and pointed angrily at him.

"I'm not finished! Dad made me obey his orders, and I got sick of it, so I dang well know I'm not listening to yours! For once in my life I'm speaking _my_ mind and thinking about what's best for _me_! Dad made me follow in his stupid revenge plot, and I didn't want to. You were mad I blindly followed him because of it, and now you want me to get back into it for someone I never met?"

"De-"

" _Shut up!_ I'm still not finished; you don't get to walk over me anymore! This last month I've had some time to think, knowing that I didn't have a _family_ anymore more."

"I didn't mean-"

"And you know what I realized Sam? I don't know who Dean Winchester is! My whole personality it seems is abandonment issues and take care of Sammy! Well guess what? I figured out that I actually like existing as something besides an extension of you! I have my own mind now, my own life! And you know what? I learned that from you."

Sams voice cracked at this point and his throat started constricting as he felt tears start to well up in his eyes.

"Dean I-"

"I'm out of the life Sam. I quit. If its an emergency, call Bobby he has my new number."

With that, Dean drove away without ever looking back, as Sam sank to his knees and sobbed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~SPN~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 _Six years later_

This was the first time in months that Sam had drove by the house again.

He parked on the street and just sat in the car, looking at it.

The house seemed to have everything. Even a white picket fence outside.

It had become a hobby of his now, to check up on Dean every once in awhile, although he could never bring himself to know on the door and talk to him.

Dean had gotten into college and got himself a decent job, a wife, and a five year old girl.

Heh, who would've thought.

As the front door started opening, he pushed the petal, terrified Dean would see him.

Terrified that if Dean saw him and convinced him to even one normal night, he wouldn't be able to get on the road again.

Unbeknownst to Sam, he was not the first one to have this problem.

Mary wanted out of the life, and in turn John had gotten in.

Sam wanted out of the life and in turn Dean and John had spent more time in it.

Freedom always came at a price, and the song remained the same.

 _Thank you all for reading! I really enjoyed writing this and sharing it with you all, and I hope you enjoyed it as well! Please vote for what story will come next A) Ghost of futures past B) For what is withheld C) Still I dream of you D) My charge E)The good the bad and the ugly F) Smoke on the water_


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